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Bodybuilder’s Diary – Friday15671

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Dear diary, about 10 o’ clock in the morning, a loud roar from the basement has woken me. I knew that was my friend S. who trains in the basement because he hates going to the gym. He says he doesn’t stand the ‘equine’ odours of the hall. I went down to say hello to him, when I saw him I could not believe that he was so well bodily defined; there was no trace of fat on him. I asked him what has happened to him, why he didn’t look brutal as all body classicists do. He told me: ‘Come on, fuck off, just pure muscles, Winstrol is law for everyone’s body definition.’
I could not hear any more such shit and I went to make myself a breakfast (12 eggs, half a loaf of bread, and of course, shake) Afterwards I drank four tablets of Dianabol, and injected half a gram of dose and looked at my pumped – up body, I’ve made a fucking good progress and I saw abnormal biceps volume; I urgently need to purchase a larger mirror!
Then S. entered the house. He drank two shakes and sat down on the couch; then my father came, so the two of them later had talked about politics. I ringed mr. D. that he should send to me immediately the precious vials and insulin, and I was low on HGH so I ordered it. Mr. D. told me he could not send to me anything before Friday. It was a huge problem, because I had no more anabolics, and it made me totally enraged.
I wanted to go out there and to kick a dog with my leg, but then I remembered that the dog had been at the veterinarian. S. and I went to F. F. was cooking eggs that were as usual thing to do at this time of day. I told him about my problem, but he replied that he was spending his own HGH and that doses would come next week. S. told me that it would be best to go to the pharmacy. We all sat in ‘stojadin’; S. rode in the trunk because there was no room in the back seat, F. and I were simply too large.
We arrived at the pharmacy, and I asked pharmacist that I need testosterone depot of ‘Galenika’ and fifty mg of ‘Viagra’, to be more brutal in bed (I’ve noticed that my potency is short – lived, probably because of high blood pressure). Pharmacist dryly replied that that I could not get Viagra, or depo (doses) without a medical prescription. I told her I cannot gain body mass without depot; she just laughed but I knew she wanted a sexual intercourse with me because I was totally brutal…
I went to my doctor Lj.K., and I explained to her my problems. After a lengthy hearing she told me I should go to see a psychologist, because the sport I was training is not healthy for my body. I immediately told her that it was not a sport but a lifestyle and that she should immediately write the prescriptions, because I was already on edge of my nerves. She said if I didn’t immediately leave the office she would call the police. I told her that the she is the darn old cow and that she should help people to get their body mass, but not to make them harder.
When I came out and said everything to S. and F. what has really happened, they told me to urgently return to the clinic and tight the old cow to a chair and to force her to write thousands of depots. In all, it was too late for we had to go eat, because F. sugar had fallen. After lunch I went to the bar to drink Fanatic coffee with the ‘shovel’ of sugar, but after the waiter J.B. has come, and had asked me why I’m so big, I told him I was on high anabolics. Unfortunately, he said they have no coffee because the ‘Elektra’ cut off their electricity so they worked with the electric generators, but they could not start the coffee machine; after that I had gone home to sleep. J.M. has woken me and asked me if he can borrow my axe; he has planned to go around the neighbourhood to chop the wood for a daily wage.
I ate a load of rice and went to training. There was H.H. and he began to talk against anabolic steroids but I had to slap him on his face; I hate those pussies that train naturally and do not have even 100kg of muscle mass. I told him to leave this temple of muscle mass because he is not worthy. F. ran after him but he was caught by the door frame; fuck it when he is simply massive.
After the training I posed and wondered of the perfection of my biceps. After a lavish dinner I went to S. and we went to drink coffee in a nearby cafe. S. told me that he planned a brutal mass definition until Christmas but I told him that he looks more like a labour worker that urgently needs to cross on the depot HGH and insulin but he would not listen to me.
I called A.K. and have asked for a depot. He said to me: ‘Brother how much does you need?’ I said that I was needed 15 ampoules until Friday. I went to the A.K. and I could not believe how much he has grown his muscles. He threw on an additional 15 kg and he is really a true anabolic – man. I’ve always admired his perfect programs of steroid cycles. He gave me the necessary vials and saved my body mass of ruin.
I rushed into the house and my old man told me that he would like me to do with him some things around the house tomorrow. I tell him that tomorrow I’m doing my legs. He started to yell at me and insulted my lifestyle, but told him that the only mass was the worthwhile investment and to leave me alone. I went into the room to masturbate, because my cock was erected and tense during the entire day, just like a canoe. As I squeezed a gallon of sperm, I’ve eaten low-fat cheese and went to sleep.
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Danimal_88 private msg quote post Address this user
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SOLARSUPLEX private msg quote post Address this user
My name is james, i get up and take a fat shit. Then i eat a ton of eggs and some milk. The milk hurts my stomach so i shit again. Then i play some words with friends and check my instagram. Now its like 1pm. wtf happened with my day. I go to the gym and do my shit. Then go home and take another shit.

Life of a real bodybuilding, you can read the rest on Trojanhorse.exe
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Trev182 private msg quote post Address this user
Aont nobody got time for that shit..
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SOLARSUPLEX private msg quote post Address this user
wow rude, mine was short. shame on u m8

just give it a read and download the rest m8
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Bucky private msg quote post Address this user
I actually lol'd a couple times reading that.. ya'll take newcomers too serious.
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the1 private msg quote post Address this user
^^ I agree lol, but this is stupid.. BUT a lot of the members here shit on new members and make them feel stupid lolo.
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Bucky private msg quote post Address this user
@the1 haha it is absolutely stupid but that's the point of it, it's satire to an extent. totally agree though, new people get shit on here and the community doesn't seem to really grow much. 'tis a shame.
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The Dark
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How is it satire?? It's nonsense. And poorly written nonsense at that. Twain and Swift would role over in their graves to hear that garbage called satire. -3X
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Bucky private msg quote post Address this user
@eknight it pokes fun at the "seriousness" of bodybuilding and the extents some go through for it/the problems of bodybuilding. not all satire has to be a work of art or on the same level of Twain.
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The Dark
eknight private msg quote post Address this user
That doesn't make it satirical. It makes it sarcastic. Satire does more than just poke fun or ridicule a topic- it does so with the intent of improving whatever it mocks. That's what separates it from mere parody, irony or sarcasm. -3X
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_RudeCrew private msg quote post Address this user
I love the arguments that get created in some threads. Like this is so random I love it.
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Bucky private msg quote post Address this user
@eknight touché.
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